Looking Unto Jesus…Hebrews 12: 2

 

Today was a day for battle.  Training and experience put to the test.  A bloodthirsty giant was heading this way.  Tales of his brutal, cruel acts had reached far and near.  He left only death and destruction in his tracks.   Armor check...belt buckled, breastplate in place, feet shod, helmet on, sword at my side, and shield resting against me.

 

How many times have I faced this bloodthirsty giant?  At times, he has come with the force of a raging lion, other times as an imitator of light.  He is sneaky, devious, a thief, but his patterns are predicable.

 

As a homeschool mom with chronic illness, my head is this battleground.  The enemy is Satan, discouraging, belittling, and destroying.   He roars like a lion, “What a complainer, you’re not really sick.  You can’t take care of your child; you can’t even take care of yourself.  Roxanne is being cheated of attention, education, everything.  You are a failure, a burden to your husband and child.”  When these tactics fail, he tries a more subtle approach with a voice full of false concern, “You are too tired today to care for your child,  put her into the care of someone else or seat her in front of the television.  How can that child be so demanding on one who’s suffering?”  His words may vary, but his tactic is the same.  Look to self; be drawn into self, and in doing so lose any comfort that you could otherwise have.

 

The Holy Spirit labors to turn my eyes away from self, and to Jesus.  There I find not only comfort, but wisdom and direction.  My day runs differently from one who does not struggle with breathing, pain, or discomfort.  Lists (things to do/accomplish…) are merely for reference.  I am not a slave to a list or to curriculum.  Instead of having accomplishment deadlines due today, this week or year - we have seasons.   We do not compare ourselves to other homeschoolers.  When another homeschooler writes of the things they are planning, doing, and accomplishing, I head for the prayer closet.

 

Following a Lifestyle of Learning has removed the burden of creating curriculum or completing pre-packaged curriculum.    It also means that we teach from life.  My chronic illness is part of our life.  God has shown me the learning value of this challenge.  I would like to share some of the values as they are a reminder that what many view as a weakness are actually a strength.  This so-called obstacle is a path strewn with riches.

Values Roxanne is learning:

 

 God’s joy is not dependent on a physical situation or feeling. Rather it takes root in our spirit.  It moves beyond circumstances.

 

To seek God’s purpose in every situation.

 

Compassion.

 

To be a prayer warrior.

 

To value staying home.

 

Skills of cleaning/cooking.

 

People are more important than things (learned from a time of financial constraint related to illness).

 

Nothing is more important than our relationship with the Lord.  

 

To use her time wisely/productively.

 

To think of others before herself.

 

God is not a candy machine.  We do not drop a coin in and get what we want.  God’s will is sought over self-desires.

 

Our hope is Jesus, not what Jesus can do.

 

These are life survival skills!  She does academics!  However, they are not the emphasis, but rather a tool to be developed.

 

Things to keep in mind...

 

Keep a constant line open to the throne room.  This line may take a  concentrated effort to develop.  Tape scripture up on mirrors, the microwave, doors or even just a note...Say hi to Jesus!

 

No mountain is too big for Jesus to move. 

 

When ground in Jesus, no stronghold can find footing. 

 

No enemy cannot slip past His guard.